(Previously published in 2014 at pseudomyxomacancer.blogspot.com )
We had a nice visit from my good friend, Dinah, and her mom today. I always greet her with “Hi My Dinah!” and “Hi Mama!” Very cherished friends.
She brought the bulletin from church and shared that today’s sermon was about faith. How we are saved not for who we are and the imperfections of our lives, but by grace and by faith. They shared that Mama has been praying for us a lot this past month – for George for healing and for me for strength. Even as we sat talking, Mama would reiterate her prayers and we could see how fervently she prays.
In the past I have written about a conversation I had with Dinah many years ago. Her husband, Victor, went blind one day due to an aneurysm while he was playing tennis. The pastor of the church at the time (I think she said it was Pastor Krumm) went to see her at the hospital as she was awaiting further tests and determining if surgery would be done. She expressed her distress to him and said, “Why me, Lord? Why is this happening to me?” Pastor looked at her and said, “Why not you?” She stopped in her tracks and just looked at him. With those few words he was telling her that “God never gives you more than you can handle”. She spent the next two decades juggling caring for her children, caring for her husband and working. Obviously she kept very busy and it was not always easy for her. But she always kept strong in her faith. She raised three very lovely daughters who are each of great faith.
As we chatted today we also talked about the fact that God already knows our questions, he already knows our lives. Our human selves are always inquisitive. We want to know why certain things happen to us. We want to know that we will be fully healed. We want to know that all will be well. BUT…. The Lords’ prayer clearly states that “THY (God’s) will be done”, not MINE. We don’t know the plans he has for us. He answers our prayers in HIS time and in HIS way which is not always the way we want.
While we hold on to whatever glimmer of hope we can get, we are real in that we don’t know what God’s answer will be. We pray for healing…. We pray for there to be a viable treatment for George… We pray for him to be strengthened… yet we cannot help but realize that the answer we get may not be what we want to hear. That can be hard to “digest”, lead us to be fearful of the answer.
There is a song I heard a few years back, sung by Natalie Grant. The name of the song was “Held”. While the song is about losing an infant, there is a verse that resonated with me regarding the loss of Mike, the loss of my mom:
“This is what it means to be held How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive This is what it is to be loved And to know that the promise was When everything fell we'd be held”
He promises to hold us during our times of earthly trials. He promises to be there for us, to get us through some of the most difficult times of our life. This is faith. This is what it means to believe in the things we cannot see.
So, too, will George and I get through this latest deck of cards that has been handed to us.. We do not know what the future holds. We do know that God has a plan for us. God will hold us and comfort us - - along with all of our believing and faithful friends.
And we are humbled by friends such as My Dinah and Mama who pray fervently for us. We are thankful for all of these people because there are times when we are doubtful, when we are fearful, when we just want to rewind the clock and go back a few more years and do a re-take on life.